What defines a home

Where I can take a shower for as long as I can,
Where I can put on the most comfortable pyjamas I can find in my wardrobe,
Where I can sit in any posture that I want doing nothing of particular importance,
Where I am of no hurry to go to any where or to reach any destination,
Where I can reflect on what I did, untangle my messy thoughts and contemplate on what I came across;

It's not that I don't like travelling,
as travelling makes me realise the bliss of being at home.
And I love both.
Travelling is too tiring without a place to rest or to give a sense of belonging,
And staying in the comfort zone all the time without the courage to find out the unknown gives a life without its liveliness.

It's time to do all the unpacking of stuffs and get prepared for my placement tomorrow. =)

Nine o'clock at night. And it is still so bright,

 This is how the sky looks like,

 at this hour during Summer in Somerset.

Two more days to go, and I should throw an official goodbye to my MPharm 2nd year. 

Two more years to go. And it seems like I'll leave here forever. 

Days by days, weeks by weeks, that's how the time goes away, 

it never ticks a second faster or slower 

for anyone for any reason. 

So, the only thing that we can do to leave no regret is to cherish it, live it, breathe it, enjoy it.

Know what we are doing, and do what we want to do.

And when it passes away, let it go. 

Recall them sometimes with a smile on our face

that's how the memories deserves to serve, 

not for excessive indulgence and forgot that the time still ticks.

So as now I am doing my revision, 

I shall rmb and cherish this moment too!

Cause I'll never know when will I come across some of these knowledge again,

as I am so lazy to flip open my books when I'm free. Hahaha.

All the professors hate a student like me.

Hola! Pharmacy second year once in a life time! 

I'm still a second year Pharmacy student  for the last two days! 

Hehehehehehehehehe =D

星期天

今天是星期天噢。在大马的时候我应该还在呼呼大睡，躺在床上滚来滚去不肯起床吧。然后妈咪和爸爸就会很生气地唠叨我，都几点了还在睡？！平时妈咪还会很geli地拿她刚洗的衣服贴在我惺忪的脸上，想要把我给凉醒了，不然就袭击我，古叽我直到我的反击为止。还睡？阿爸的绝招就是把我的整个被单拉起来，然我在床上无所遁形，像一只可怜的毛毛虫在还未变成蝴蝶时就被人把整个蛹狠狠地拔出来一样！呜呜。。没那么浪漫啦，还敢赖床？真的没吃过rotan噢。通常看见爸爸包青天的铁脸，我用跑的都跑去厕所刷牙去了!

说也奇怪，离开了父母温暖的怀抱，公主的床垫，在宿舍，在异乡时，反而比任何时候来得更自律了。温暖的床铺对我再也没有过大的吸引力（可能是都比不上家里的双人床吧，可以从东滚到西边去），尤其是考试期间，有时候九点多起床我都觉得好像很迟了也！可能是因为知道没有人可撒娇，依赖，所以就会更警觉，不然太阳晒到屁股都没有人会理我噢。怎么突然间有一种被遗弃的感觉。哈哈。是因为这样子，我更学会了爱自己，珍惜自己啊。

星期六，我通常都是自己在家，悠哉游哉，享受自己独处的时间。吃着早餐看着电视，最怀念的还是小时候七早八早起来看tv2 的美少女战士，或是七龙珠，接着是Disney的和 Cardcaptor Sakura。不然在婆婆家咧，更棒！有Power puff girls, Dexter Lab, 好多等等。感谢小舅，为我婆婆装置了这么棒的astro，还留了cartoon network给我婆婆（我）看！哈哈！现在看本地节目，怎么全部都是打架的卡通片啊！现在的小孩子好不浪漫噢，他们的戏都吸引不到我这个大小孩了。

在外地，因为没有电视节目，没有特别的家庭活动，有时候会掉入每一天都是千篇一律的小圈圈。温习着功课，想起今天是礼拜，于是真的好想看一集Sailormoon, 做一些周末才做的小事提醒着我今天又是星期天咯。哈哈。

*

*

*

无论生活是高是低，是肥是瘦，是平淡还是沧桑，我想到最后，留在我们心中的都会是那些小小的平淡又甜甜的回忆吧。所以不用怕，再大的困难也都会过去的，只有甜美的会留下，就像那抹不去的童年记忆，能让我们一生细细地回味。

“月灵的力量，变身~~”

星期五

今天，走路到小镇。我的朋友听说我走路去，感到很惊讶！呀呀，原来我在他的心中是好一个懒人噢！
和朋友相伴，一路摇呀摇走到了market，看见market我便有一种说不出的开心涌上心头，就好像一位阿婶看见便宜的菜那么开心一样。接着便和朋友们成群结队（其实也只是我们四个，哈哈）到starbucks 去喝打折的frappucino，第一次order这饮品的我竟然还gongtutu地叫了一个奇怪的口味组合：mocha加豆奶加peppermint cream和whipped cream，which is really 有点怪，但是mocha喝起来还真的很不错噢！难怪我的小小一杯比其他人贵那30 几p，是因为我叫太多东西了。最后还有到Sainsbury去买点东西，最开心还是能够搭上巴士直接到家。果然，我真的是很懒惰，哈哈。

回到家，便悠哉游哉地坐下，突然很有心情地去阅读艾林姐在面子书的文章。啊，看了心情更加愉悦。看她的文章，能够直接感受到她那说不出的潇洒和气质。看她的文章，总是提醒着我，每一个当下，要细细地去体会，去品尝。我相信，总有一天，我会体会我心中真正想要的旅行。一个自由，快乐，没有拘束的旅行。这个体验不是不存在，只是我还没有体会到。也许再我的心灵成长一点点，我才能明了。我这么相信着。我的窗口看不见美丽的日落，可是日落依旧是美丽的。看日落，看见橙黄的余光，总有一种很写意的感觉。

啊，虽然考试在即，但是这一出门，身与心都得到了放松，感觉自己是活着的，是多么的幸福啊！

不知道大家有没有这样问过自己呢？如果你做着某件你认为对你很重要的事，可是，在做的当儿，你不开心，或者说，你并没有真正地快乐，那为什么你还要去做呢？我问自己，如果我为了考试而读书，因为时间紧迫，我读得不开心；考试时，我考得不开心；考完试后，我感到心灵很空，虽然轻松了，我也没有真正地感到快乐。在为目标奋斗的过程和达到目标的时候，我并没有真正地感到快乐，那，为什么我还要去做呢？考试考得好，最多也是个自了汉，自己感到得意，但是这种快乐，是很短的，就像微风吹过树枝摇摆一样。课本上的知识，倘若我真的能运用在生活上，利自利人，那么我这么辛苦，都是值得的。所以，当我发现自己不快乐，是自己的心态上出了问题。当然，书，还是要读，既然要读，那么就开开心心地踏上探索的旅程吧！不然，如果不快乐，为什么还要去做呢？=）

Mrs and Mr.

Today is Roger Hargreaves birthday! Eh emm, actually I also don't know who he is until google home page told me that it is his birthday. haha. According to google, he is a British author and illustrator for children's book. Accidentally came across all his little cute pictures and can't help it'ssss really cute!

Being Mr. Lazy can be really comfy but beaware of the disasters coming! 

194!! haha

Hope that we are as strong as him and as wise as  her when dealing with stress

Miss brainy I am -  always thinks too much!

he likes to visit me whenever i am revising...

I am shy. Yes. Shy. haha.

oh poor Chi chin and maria, our friend who sneeze non stop whenever they are in our house!

Life is not a life without them definitely!

good luck~

Holiday, it's holiday

It has been a week of holiday and two weeks left to the exams.
Now I can feel the stress, although I am not willing to admit this. Although I looked as if I am so calm reading my notes, I can sometimes feel a racing heart and become restless after sitting and studying for few minutes. Gone through some self diagnosis (well am actually studying about anxiety and axiolytics) now I know these are all the symptoms of Anxiety! Oh gosh~ I am not as non-stressful as I think of myself is.

To kill the time with two stones, a bit of revision plus blogging:

- Cortex: negative cognition
As I was revising, the whispers of my heart actually constantly asking me to remember everything on the notes! There's not much time left!
- Amygdala: Fear perception
Sensory input goes to amygdala. At this moment, my amygdala must be saying "2 WEEks left~~~!!! You may not be able to finish your revision!!!!"
- Hippocampus: Memory
hippocampus will try to remind be of all the bad experience or trauma that I have that make me anxious. Oh that must be those stressful moments when I have to chuck everything into my brain within like say? 24 hours? And this is of course not a pleasant moment to enjoy.

And so, amygdala when percept the input as fear will then affect the diffuse system in my brain. The serotonin level is lowered, which means my happiness is diminishing now! And it activates my HPA and sympathetic overdrive, making me alert and prepare to fight! (fight or flight- Can I choose flight instead?)

- Basal ganglia and cerebellum: Movement
So there are different ways of dealing with stress. One of them is behavioural avoidance. I suppose that's the reason why everytime when we are revising, we have the tendency to click, on facebook, blogger..as a means of avoiding the stress on my study table. And hence exercising may help destress too!

When i am getting more and more stressful as i study along:
Heart, could be felt, pumping a bit quicker
Mind, restlessness, keeps on wandering; or too concentrated
Mood, irritable; Wants to be quick, quick and quick!
And I can even feel that my shoulders become very stiff

I will try to pull myself back a little while, preventing those subsconsious perception and thoughts creating more stress. And relaxing my back and body is quite an efficient way to destress.

Sometimes our brain needs a bit of reminder.
Hey! No matter how busy we are, we are actually in a holiday!
Studying is suppose to be enjoyable as I know more about how our body is functioning.
Don't think too much, just do it. Revise it. Normally it is the thinnking that creates the fear. And most of all ( the most effective anecdote) Studying is not about how well you remember for the exam, if you treat gaining knowledge as a way to help people in the future, you will not be bogged down by the exam ( thinking  only about your ownself creates stress).

Really, it is holiday now, and studying should be fun! And I don't care about the marks! *pretending* Haha. Happy studying!

Simple

Today I have met someone who is really simple. I don't know him much, but then I started like a police interrogating him with lotsa questions. A lot of questions asking about his latar belakang from top to toe, from in to out. hehehe..

And from what he said and answer,
he is really a simple guy.
I  can hardly imagine how a simple person looks like.
And now there is this very simply guy in front of me.
He is just, that. And he is really happy for that.
I nearly forgot the feeling of being simple.
And I wish to be as simple as him.
Sometimes I just think too much,
And now I realised
sometimes I just get too attached matters that I am not even noticed of.
And I want it not to be changed. I always want it to be in that way.
In the end, the suffering comes not from the changing situations,
but the mind that get too attached to it and doesnt want any changes.

It's time for growth. Purify the mind and let go of the attachment.
And let myself come back and sort it out.
Simple.