Saturday, April 30, 2011

Holiday, it's holiday

It has been a week of holiday and two weeks left to the exams.
Now I can feel the stress, although I am not willing to admit this. Although I looked as if I am so calm reading my notes, I can sometimes feel a racing heart and become restless after sitting and studying for few minutes. Gone through some self diagnosis (well am actually studying about anxiety and axiolytics) now I know these are all the symptoms of Anxiety! Oh gosh~ I am not as non-stressful as I think of myself is.

To kill the time with two stones, a bit of revision plus blogging:

- Cortex: negative cognition
As I was revising, the whispers of my heart actually constantly asking me to remember everything on the notes! There's not much time left!
- Amygdala: Fear perception
Sensory input goes to amygdala. At this moment, my amygdala must be saying "2 WEEks left~~~!!! You may not be able to finish your revision!!!!"
- Hippocampus: Memory
hippocampus will try to remind be of all the bad experience or trauma that I have that make me anxious. Oh that must be those stressful moments when I have to chuck everything into my brain within like say? 24 hours? And this is of course not a pleasant moment to enjoy.

And so, amygdala when percept the input as fear will then affect the diffuse system in my brain. The serotonin level is lowered, which means my happiness is diminishing now! And it activates my HPA and sympathetic overdrive, making me alert and prepare to fight! (fight or flight- Can I choose flight instead?)

- Basal ganglia and cerebellum: Movement
So there are different ways of dealing with stress. One of them is behavioural avoidance. I suppose that's the reason why everytime when we are revising, we have the tendency to click, on facebook, blogger..as a means of avoiding the stress on my study table. And hence exercising may help destress too!

When i am getting more and more stressful as i study along:
Heart, could be felt, pumping a bit quicker
Mind, restlessness, keeps on wandering; or too concentrated
Mood, irritable; Wants to be quick, quick and quick!
And I can even feel that my shoulders become very stiff

I will try to pull myself back a little while, preventing those subsconsious perception and thoughts creating more stress. And relaxing my back and body is quite an efficient way to destress.

Sometimes our brain needs a bit of reminder.
Hey! No matter how busy we are, we are actually in a holiday!
Studying is suppose to be enjoyable as I know more about how our body is functioning.
Don't think too much, just do it. Revise it. Normally it is the thinnking that creates the fear. And most of all ( the most effective anecdote) Studying is not about how well you remember for the exam, if you treat gaining knowledge as a way to help people in the future, you will not be bogged down by the exam ( thinking  only about your ownself creates stress).

Really, it is holiday now, and studying should be fun! And I don't care about the marks! *pretending* Haha. Happy studying!

Monday, April 25, 2011

Simple

Today I have met someone who is really simple. I don't know him much, but then I started like a police interrogating him with lotsa questions. A lot of questions asking about his latar belakang from top to toe, from in to out. hehehe..

And from what he said and answer,
he is really a simple guy.
I  can hardly imagine how a simple person looks like.
And now there is this very simply guy in front of me.
He is just, that. And he is really happy for that.
I nearly forgot the feeling of being simple.
And I wish to be as simple as him.
Sometimes I just think too much,
And now I realised
sometimes I just get too attached matters that I am not even noticed of.
And I want it not to be changed. I always want it to be in that way.
In the end, the suffering comes not from the changing situations,
but the mind that get too attached to it and doesnt want any changes.

It's time for growth. Purify the mind and let go of the attachment.
And let myself come back and sort it out.
Simple.

Thursday, April 7, 2011


这世界,很复杂,或许充满着形形色色各种各类的人;
自己需要的,别人未必需要。
别人期盼的,自己未必能够办得到。
这是一个成长的过程
但是,很高兴的是,
在遇到挫折时,有一群知心的朋友
给与安慰,给予欢笑。

希望在这过程中
坚守稚心
增长善心
散播爱心
开开心心地好好走下去。=)