Practising the right speech

Have you ever said something that you'll regret right after saying it out? Have you ever spoken something that shouldn't be said, out of excitement or other emotional influence?

Right, that's what I have done today to one of my friends. Without considering her feelings I just spoke out something in front of the others that she might not be happy of. Although it is not a huge matter, it is a point worth reflected.

Sometimes we'll just say something or do something stupid because we are not fully aware that what are we doing or saying at that very moment. We may be just overwhelmed by our emotions and follow wherever it brings us to. And sometimes, it can be disastrous. In the suttra, Buddha did mention the importance of practising the right speech. It means that :

We practise not to tell anything untrue to the others ( 不妄语 such as rumours) ,
not to say things that are not useful to our lives and the others ( 不绮语e.g. for the mere sake of pleasing people ),
not to speak something bad behind the person or tell different stories in front of two people (不两舌)
And not to say something that will hurt or annoy the others' feeling. (不恶口）

And it is not easy at all to practise that. Every day, I have spoken lots of unskillful words, teasing others by their rumours, etc etc. And that's considered a lot, not yet accounting those that I have spoken when I was unaware of what I spoke. It may not seem to be a bad thing but, when it has become a habit there is a hidden danger in it.

Why should we practise the right speech? The reason is as simple as, we have to bear the consequences of what we have done or spoken. Something that you think is unimportant may be the reverse for the person himself. By not practising the right speech, we may have hurt our dearest friends and family members, annoy people that we are unaware of, say something disastrous that will ruin our or other's reputation, or lost the trust that people put on us. And we definitely won't be happy when any of these happens.

Practising the right speech does not discourage us that we shouldn't be speaking at all. Inversely, by knowing its consequences, we should be more aware of it and try to speak words that will bring harmony and comfort to the others. And that will normally form a positive feedback loop: As we sincerely treating others and speaking something truthful to them, we'll become happier because we don't need to think anything particular just to please others. We do not have to wait until people treat us equally the same way to become happy. And if they do, it is normal because Newton's third law pair of forces do apply in human interactions.

Today's lesson just make me realise how important the right speech is. And to practise the right speech, we need to be fully aware of what we are speaking, who are we speaking to, the content and consequences of saying that out and the suitable time of voicing it out. Without awareness to our speech and action, it is impossible to practise the right speech. And it is so important because a mouth can be used to compliment the others, it can also turn into a sword that hurt others as well as its owner.

Yeah, I should be aware and take good care of my own mouths from now onwards! :)

*Practise the right speech. Say something that will brighten up one's day, truly from our heart.*