Oh my, an abandoned land here. You know what, I have a wholly different feeling about my life, the place I'm staying and the time i spend now, since the starting of 2009.
It seems to me like it's going to end. No, it's the fact actually, that this is my last few months here, the last and only half a year's time before i fly to there for 4 years and then back to the same place..Hey, i thought to myself, i must be really missing the days I live here when I finally come back to Malaysia in 2013 - With a different me! Who can still remain unchanged when he comes to a foreign land for quite some time? Let's not say about the principle and one's belief, but the other aspects of life. The thoughts, the perspective. Even a person's attitude can change when he's growing at the same place. ( it does remind me of an english poem we once studied during secondary school.)
It's really hard to describe what kind of feelings I have recently. What's surprised me is, it's not at all a kind of emotional, sad thing to me. Everything around me now seems to become more precious than ever! I tend to appreciate and really live in the every moment in my school and home, reminded that I could see when this kind of life that i have adapted and lived comfortably in, ends. Subconsciously, I try to be really mindful even when I am bathing or sleeping or eating my food in my room. I'm not trying to grasp on anything, but to know it clearly that I really live through this college life. After years, I hope I can recall every wonderful moments now, and then i'll know I really live it! The results is, I think I'm happier with my life now and i tend to think less of those unnecessary! Just laugh as much as you can, just do whatever you want to do now, just say it out when you want to say so much! Why let regrets fill up your life? You know you have no way of turning back to experience once more.
The things we are worried so much now, be it the homework undone, the quiz tommorrow, the games you haven't played..don't you think that they are those where you'll find it not worthy to be mentioned at all when the time passes by? Who will bother to think or talk about a Physics test he failed when he is 25? Or a Counter Strike missed? A quote says," 80% of the things people worried is does not happen in the future." Sometimes you'll doubt that it's actually meaningless for you to have worried sth so much. It's NOT really meaningLESS! All the effort we spend is going to build the base of our future, BUT those matters, should never be a whole part of our life. So, like me, I'm blogging now though I'm yet to do the Chemistry 6B (what a good example..haha..) BUT, don't forget, I have already finished 50% of my homework ( Shall I say so? I'm not sure actually) Okay..erm, I have at least spent 2 hours doing homework in the afternoon! Some things can't be wait; I think..It's all about how we balance our life loh. hehe =)
The time is running out! How many Saturdays I can spend with my grandparents before I fly off?? Why does it always move me to the point of tears no matter how many thousand times I encounter this question! I have always told myself, " Do something! Give them company! Don't regret next time!" But now I realised that, no matter how much I have done for them, especially my dear grandma and grandpa, I will still carry the regrets till the end of my life. Why? Their love is too deep that I could never repay them back fully! I once again come to this question when I paid a visit to the old folks' home last week during the one day trip.
On Monday, I went to another old folk's home in Klang. It's heart wrenching to see 30 senior citizens clustered in a very small indian old folks home. The rooms are small and there's a kind of unpleasant smell surrounding the house. It's merely a sleeping place for them! When we are distributing Ang paus for the old folks, I came to a room when a Chinese old man is alone sitting on the floor washing a cup. He's unaware that we're looking at him. seeing his hands are wet, I put the ang pau on the bed he's facing and wish him Happy Chinese New Year. He didn't take up my ang pau. Then only I come to know that he's blind. A feeling of sadness just overwhlemed me! I couldn't imagine that how would i feel if this pity man is my dear grandfather!!! I just my heart would just be broken into pieces when i come to this scence! I wish I could have save up part of the money for eating Secret Recipe cakes, watching movies in the cinema, going out with friends, etc etc and use the money to give them a better living environment! There are how many this kind of unfortunate or poor people living in an unseen corner,and now I have seen it, how should I pretend that life is a bed of roses for everyone here? How should you ignore helping the people in need when you have seen how needy they are?
The head of the old folks home told us that they need daily things like milo, susu, sugar, oil and washing powder and the donations are mostly welcome. 5 kg of milo might take months for me to finish it, but it's only sufficient for the house of old folks to last for maybe 1 week. Oh, don't waste even a drop of beverage if you can finish it!
