现在回想起来，上个星期我度过的是人间的地狱。地狱不需要很远，就是那个囚禁我的心灵的地方。为了繁忙的功课，为了庆生，为了申请工作，为了处理旅行的东西，我的心在这些事情中打转，而变得十分疲惫，缺乏睡眠也十分影响平日的心情与表现。当面对问题时，我也察觉到心情也常处于焦虑，烦恼，挫折，后悔，慌张种种负面的情绪当中。缺乏精神，却因为要赶课业上的东西，便拖着疲惫的心灵努力，有时候也没有awareness自己在干什么，只想把事情做好。这莫过于是一个学佛者最不想面对的状况了。
但是，今晚冲凉时突然开窍了。放下自己，从客观的角度来看，每件事情都是成长的过程。现在种种的问题，也会成为多年后忘却的芝麻小事；然后也发现，许多烦恼的产生，都源自于自己在处理事情时是多么的没有智慧。
比如，在抉择时，很多事情往往是无法预测的，我们惟有在当时的所限的因缘底下做出最好的决定。当时决定后，谜底逐渐揭开，可能发现，这个是个错的选择！但是，怎么办呢？是我的问题吗？是选择的问题吗？不，是因为我无法取舍，做了决定以后，无法接受和放下决定的利与弊。因为放不下，没有正知见，所以会产生焦虑，悔不当初的反应。才发现，这就是为什么，许多人都愿意考量，却都不敢下决定。因为害怕承担无法预知的后果，因为要求完美。
不断比较过去与现在，不断衡量得失，所以心不安宁。然后，作为决策者，做了决定后，也害怕别人的不满，所以内心也有压力。总总的烦恼都源自于一颗没有历练的心以及缺乏智慧去处理问题。其实，做了决定后，应以冷静的心去面对，不再衡量对错，应明白及勇于承担后果；面对群众，要知道自己只是因缘之一，既已尽己力，便安抚人心，而也不必再担忧别人对此事的种种看法，也应放下了。
再加上，种种意外的产生更应提醒了我们许多事情的变化都不是我们能够控制的，而挫折感的产生是因为我们仍未从内心去明了“无我”的道理。我们去执著为何事情不如预期那样，所以生气，不满，无奈。所以说，真正要做到随缘，那时谈何容易呀！对于日后更多的未知数，我们若不断地去想，只会更加地愁慌。但是，那时候自有那时候的因缘，我们管的了，担心得着吗?
许多问题，如果用烦恼对峙烦恼, 那将会是个充满负面情绪的无底洞。但是，转个念，从佛法的角度去想，许多事情，也不是那么严重了。从来不是事情太难，而是种种的妄想和执著的心太难了。感恩生命有了佛法的滋润，也愿自己能从中成长，变得更有智慧。
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
平凡星期五
大家都知道dudu很久没有update她的blog了，那我就代她更新一下我们昨日做的小事儿吧！
我和她各自和妈妈们谈完天后，便出去城市的邮政局要把坏了的吸尘机寄回去给出产商。下午四时许，天色逐渐灰暗，灿烂的太阳要到大马去咯！
巴士上，我们为了一些小事而有些困扰，最后dudu说了一句：“再看怎样吧，我们这么好人，相信别人也会对我们好的！”搭巴士到城市后，我们轮流扛着笨重的vaccum，走到了巴士站附近的小邮政局。排着队，感觉不对劲，等了没多久，dudu隔壁的女子好心提醒我们说，这儿的邮局是不收邮件的，要寄东西需到图书馆对面的邮局去。我们两个愣了一下，连声说好，心里真的感谢这位女生让我们省下了许多等待的时间。踏出小邮局，dudu跟我说：“你看，我们真的会遇到好人的！” 这句话，印在我的脑海里。我从来是一个现实的人，很少会如此乐观地期望着，面对着事情，可是这一刻，我觉得有一颗善良的心，虽然可能不如期待而感失望，虽然可能会被受伤欺骗，那一刻的良善，是如此地让我感觉到踏实和窝心。
于是，我们又轮流扛着抬着那部机，迎来很多人异样的眼光，走了一段路，终于到了另一个邮政局。有如释重负的那一刻时，才知道答案是我们到了错的邮政局，因为标签上写的是ups不是by royalmail. 问了人，又发现再多几条街可能有收ups包裹的邮局。因为vaccum机很重，路很斜，dudu勇敢地去了，我留在邮局外面等待她去看看是否如此。就这样，和坐在隔壁等着巴士的老婆婆结缘了。她一开始似乎没注意到我的出现，被我吓着了吧。看了看我，她对我慈祥地微笑，便开始和我来聊起天来：“巴士很久还没到hor？” “噢，我不是在等巴士，我等朋友回来，你在等几号？" 她告诉我说，她1973年就住在bath了，那时原本是为了照顾年老的父母，结果他们去世后，她也继续留下来了。我说她很喜欢bath吧。她说是啊，这是一个很美很宁静的城市。当我告诉她我是从大马来，她说她以前在bath royal hospital 工作时有一群大马的学生，他们新年时还会制作龙来玩呢！她告诉我她上个星期刚过了生日，她今年87岁了。我回她说我过两天便会生日，21了。我们笑了起来。她说她小时候去过印度，很喜欢那里。我说不是很热吗？她喜欢。后来dudu打来说，好消息，那个地方有负责ups，可以拿过去了！而同时老婆婆的巴士到了。来不及和她当面挥别，还没告诉她我也好想去印度寻找佛陀的足迹呢。就这样，各自上路了。因为迟到的巴士，21岁遇见了87岁。深刻而温暖。
幸好我有陪dudu去还vaccum，她一开始还自告奋勇说可以一个人拿去！重到半死噢，还是独乐乐不如众乐乐好！^O^ 完成了正经事后，我们都很兴奋我们踏上没有去过的地方（那个店那里的街）。过后我们去逛逛街，dudu买了保暖睡衣，我买了三双超舒服保暖袜子！哇，现在脚底暖暖的，好舒服！我们还联合吃完一整包smarties，搭车回家后有hsemate煮好的粥等我们开饭！哇，我们好好好幸福哟！然后，我们又看电影了！这已经是这个月第四或五次了吧！After that 我还看见hsemate辛苦为我弄着banana choco cake，真的好好好感动啦！
噢，还有，大家，我明天要和朋友们去看Harry Potter 7 了！谢谢他们请我看戏，我坚持要给但是他们不肯。我想说，有朋友们真的很棒噢！当然还有我的爱人哈利波特～～ 哈哈～～
我和她各自和妈妈们谈完天后，便出去城市的邮政局要把坏了的吸尘机寄回去给出产商。下午四时许，天色逐渐灰暗，灿烂的太阳要到大马去咯！
巴士上，我们为了一些小事而有些困扰，最后dudu说了一句：“再看怎样吧，我们这么好人，相信别人也会对我们好的！”搭巴士到城市后，我们轮流扛着笨重的vaccum，走到了巴士站附近的小邮政局。排着队，感觉不对劲，等了没多久，dudu隔壁的女子好心提醒我们说，这儿的邮局是不收邮件的，要寄东西需到图书馆对面的邮局去。我们两个愣了一下，连声说好，心里真的感谢这位女生让我们省下了许多等待的时间。踏出小邮局，dudu跟我说：“你看，我们真的会遇到好人的！” 这句话，印在我的脑海里。我从来是一个现实的人，很少会如此乐观地期望着，面对着事情，可是这一刻，我觉得有一颗善良的心，虽然可能不如期待而感失望，虽然可能会被受伤欺骗，那一刻的良善，是如此地让我感觉到踏实和窝心。
于是，我们又轮流扛着抬着那部机，迎来很多人异样的眼光，走了一段路，终于到了另一个邮政局。有如释重负的那一刻时，才知道答案是我们到了错的邮政局，因为标签上写的是ups不是by royalmail. 问了人，又发现再多几条街可能有收ups包裹的邮局。因为vaccum机很重，路很斜，dudu勇敢地去了，我留在邮局外面等待她去看看是否如此。就这样，和坐在隔壁等着巴士的老婆婆结缘了。她一开始似乎没注意到我的出现，被我吓着了吧。看了看我，她对我慈祥地微笑，便开始和我来聊起天来：“巴士很久还没到hor？” “噢，我不是在等巴士，我等朋友回来，你在等几号？" 她告诉我说，她1973年就住在bath了，那时原本是为了照顾年老的父母，结果他们去世后，她也继续留下来了。我说她很喜欢bath吧。她说是啊，这是一个很美很宁静的城市。当我告诉她我是从大马来，她说她以前在bath royal hospital 工作时有一群大马的学生，他们新年时还会制作龙来玩呢！她告诉我她上个星期刚过了生日，她今年87岁了。我回她说我过两天便会生日，21了。我们笑了起来。她说她小时候去过印度，很喜欢那里。我说不是很热吗？她喜欢。后来dudu打来说，好消息，那个地方有负责ups，可以拿过去了！而同时老婆婆的巴士到了。来不及和她当面挥别，还没告诉她我也好想去印度寻找佛陀的足迹呢。就这样，各自上路了。因为迟到的巴士，21岁遇见了87岁。深刻而温暖。
幸好我有陪dudu去还vaccum，她一开始还自告奋勇说可以一个人拿去！重到半死噢，还是独乐乐不如众乐乐好！^O^ 完成了正经事后，我们都很兴奋我们踏上没有去过的地方（那个店那里的街）。过后我们去逛逛街，dudu买了保暖睡衣，我买了三双超舒服保暖袜子！哇，现在脚底暖暖的，好舒服！我们还联合吃完一整包smarties，搭车回家后有hsemate煮好的粥等我们开饭！哇，我们好好好幸福哟！然后，我们又看电影了！这已经是这个月第四或五次了吧！After that 我还看见hsemate辛苦为我弄着banana choco cake，真的好好好感动啦！
昨天我们去Bath Christmas light on了！
Short and sweet
Carol: bye bye~ good night~ I love you~
Carol's mom: bye~ I love you toooo~~
First time she replied me like this! XD
Carol's mom: bye~ I love you toooo~~
First time she replied me like this! XD
Thursday, November 18, 2010
The Chant Of Metta- Imee Ooi
Have been listening to this song for around 2 years. This is a soothing song, but I never searched for the meaning behind the Pali words that Imee Ooi chants in this song. Finally I googled it and found the Pali translation for this Metta chant. Although the whole sutta is long but it is very meaningful actually!!!
In our daily life, we spend so much time thinking about ourselves. But in this chant, every sentence reveals that the happiness coming from wishing the others to be happy and free from danger. If one can chant this sutta with mindfulness, it will be more than a soothing song. It is a meditation with deep loving kindness to the whole universe. And every loving kindness starts from wishing ourselves to be happy. ^_^
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Saturday, November 13, 2010
Snail!
I-saw-a-snail-on- my-cloth-in-my-room-when-i-was-folding-my-cloth!!!
I just wore it yesterday! And I put it on my chair. Neither did I took the cloth out nor throw it on the floor.
zhen qi guai! tested the shell with some water, and it hasn't died yet though!
And I put it back to the garden behind.:)
I just wore it yesterday! And I put it on my chair. Neither did I took the cloth out nor throw it on the floor.
zhen qi guai! tested the shell with some water, and it hasn't died yet though!
Friday, November 12, 2010
^_^
*^_^*
I wish to go to town tomorrow. Not with a purpose, perhaps just wanna go to the library and wandering around the city. Leafs are green, clouds are white, flower smiling wide!
I wish I can do meditation in the morning. It has been a few weeks ago since I last did it.
I wish I can sit down and enjoy some movies, or read some story books, or perhaps dhamma books. Not just non-fictions.
I wish I do not need to rush for anything and don't have to do anything, and always have time for a cup of, any drink? It doesn't matter.
Tomorrow, it will be a great holiday! And it starts from a good sound sleep now! Arhhhhhh~~
I wish to go to town tomorrow. Not with a purpose, perhaps just wanna go to the library and wandering around the city. Leafs are green, clouds are white, flower smiling wide!
I wish I can do meditation in the morning. It has been a few weeks ago since I last did it.
I wish I can sit down and enjoy some movies, or read some story books, or perhaps dhamma books. Not just non-fictions.
I wish I do not need to rush for anything and don't have to do anything, and always have time for a cup of, any drink? It doesn't matter.
Tomorrow, it will be a great holiday! And it starts from a good sound sleep now! Arhhhhhh~~
Friday, November 5, 2010
My old Ku Poh got a stroke last week. It just happened all of a sudden. She's just like normal that night, and the next moment she was collapsed on the floor. She'd undergone a brain surgery to remove the blood clot. She's okay now, just discharged from hosp. and is recovering. Right side not that flexible anymore. Although I'm in UK and heard this news from my parents, I can imagine last week was a tiring and emotionally exhausting week for my aunts.
Ku poh is always a cheerful person. Although she's not that mobile in moving ( her feet were not that flexible, due to ageing), she doesnt feel frustrated or depressed facing the signs of aging. Instead, she is a very strong lady. Once, all of us accompany her to walk down the stairs which is quite narrow. For a young man, he can do it in 1 minute. For her, she took around 10 minutes to do that, very slowly and struggling, step after step and the adults can only watch her in case she is falling. And she never said a word about it. We always complain climbing stairs. But never know being able to climb the stairs is a thing to appreciate for. This is what I should learn from her.
Life is impermenant. One day, we will get old. Besides this, as we grew older, we will also soon see our dearest family part from us, one by one. This is the rule of life. There isn't a flower who blooms and never dies. We must have such a mental preparation long before the thing occurs. Otherwise, we will very easily break down when come to matters of life and death. The Buddha said, if we really see through the impermenance in everything, we will try our best to make ourselves and everyone around us happy. Because, we know they are not going to be there forever, so there is no need at all to be in anger or frustration and then have regrets when they are gone.
On this Guy Fawkes' day, let us remind that we are still alive and it is the most wonderful moment we can have on earth. Throw away our sadness, and be refreshing every day. And be grateful that we are alive, as someone else may not have lived today. Living is already a thing worth happy for. :)
Ku poh is always a cheerful person. Although she's not that mobile in moving ( her feet were not that flexible, due to ageing), she doesnt feel frustrated or depressed facing the signs of aging. Instead, she is a very strong lady. Once, all of us accompany her to walk down the stairs which is quite narrow. For a young man, he can do it in 1 minute. For her, she took around 10 minutes to do that, very slowly and struggling, step after step and the adults can only watch her in case she is falling. And she never said a word about it. We always complain climbing stairs. But never know being able to climb the stairs is a thing to appreciate for. This is what I should learn from her.
Life is impermenant. One day, we will get old. Besides this, as we grew older, we will also soon see our dearest family part from us, one by one. This is the rule of life. There isn't a flower who blooms and never dies. We must have such a mental preparation long before the thing occurs. Otherwise, we will very easily break down when come to matters of life and death. The Buddha said, if we really see through the impermenance in everything, we will try our best to make ourselves and everyone around us happy. Because, we know they are not going to be there forever, so there is no need at all to be in anger or frustration and then have regrets when they are gone.
On this Guy Fawkes' day, let us remind that we are still alive and it is the most wonderful moment we can have on earth. Throw away our sadness, and be refreshing every day. And be grateful that we are alive, as someone else may not have lived today. Living is already a thing worth happy for. :)
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
T.i.m.e.
One day when I saw people write that " Time is a relative thing. You'll feel like ages parting from me if I'm someone you miss; Inversely, If i'm not in your heart at all, one year is not very long." This sentence gives a deep strike into my heart.
Time is a relative thing. Perhaps I shall think it again. Why am I always feel like lacking of time? If time is relative to someone, it doesnt really matter whether everyone has 24 hrs as the others have. If it is a relative thing, then why do we count the time? Having more hours doesn't mean that you spend all of them with good quality.
Now somehow I can feel it. I started working on my workshop at 8pm. And I was sort of concentrated in doing it. It was not stressful, but I can feel that I took ages to dig up the information that I need for the workshop. It gives me a feeling that 2 hours have passed. But when I look at my clock, pheww - it is just 9 o'clock! The night is still young. That's how the 'miracles' happen.
And I recalled that last few days ago, I can be so unproductive. I wanted to do an easy workshop but I spend 2 hours on it. I wanted to do lots of tasks but I end up completing none. And quite often, I wanted to do this and that, but I was not psychologically prepared for it - My mind wanders in the wonderland of facebook for sometime, blogger for sometimes and many other places. I kind of spend many times in an undecided position of what I am going to do next.
Does the length of the time shown by the ticking clock is really all the time I have? I am not so sure. I can't help agree with the relativity of time. Perhaps, when you enjoy doing something, when you are totally indulged in doing something, one hour isn't that short. and Many days isn't that long. You can think in both ways. Or perhaps, when you're so concentrated that you forget the time , it slows down :D
So I guess, the best way to do things effectively is, do it when your heart really wanted to. Read when I really want to; Talk when I really want to. We don't need to spend all our time in one part - We are not machines. We'll get into our work more seriously and effectively if we have healthy relationships with people and things surrounding us. Then we'll have less problems to think of and thus we can concentrate in our work. hehe. It is a circle, it's hard to succeed in either part if go to both extremes.
Time is a relative thing. Perhaps I shall think it again. Why am I always feel like lacking of time? If time is relative to someone, it doesnt really matter whether everyone has 24 hrs as the others have. If it is a relative thing, then why do we count the time? Having more hours doesn't mean that you spend all of them with good quality.
Now somehow I can feel it. I started working on my workshop at 8pm. And I was sort of concentrated in doing it. It was not stressful, but I can feel that I took ages to dig up the information that I need for the workshop. It gives me a feeling that 2 hours have passed. But when I look at my clock, pheww - it is just 9 o'clock! The night is still young. That's how the 'miracles' happen.
And I recalled that last few days ago, I can be so unproductive. I wanted to do an easy workshop but I spend 2 hours on it. I wanted to do lots of tasks but I end up completing none. And quite often, I wanted to do this and that, but I was not psychologically prepared for it - My mind wanders in the wonderland of facebook for sometime, blogger for sometimes and many other places. I kind of spend many times in an undecided position of what I am going to do next.
Does the length of the time shown by the ticking clock is really all the time I have? I am not so sure. I can't help agree with the relativity of time. Perhaps, when you enjoy doing something, when you are totally indulged in doing something, one hour isn't that short. and Many days isn't that long. You can think in both ways. Or perhaps, when you're so concentrated that you forget the time , it slows down :D
So I guess, the best way to do things effectively is, do it when your heart really wanted to. Read when I really want to; Talk when I really want to. We don't need to spend all our time in one part - We are not machines. We'll get into our work more seriously and effectively if we have healthy relationships with people and things surrounding us. Then we'll have less problems to think of and thus we can concentrate in our work. hehe. It is a circle, it's hard to succeed in either part if go to both extremes.
No wonder the chinese idiom goes : 置心一处，无事不办。
Monday, November 1, 2010
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